Revising the Law

Revising the Law

What is the reason for victims staying in abusive relationships? Is it because they feel nobody cares? Is it because they get use to the abuse or maybe they know their abusers will not get the proper consequences? Domestic abuse is devastating to the victim and the people who care about them. Domestic abuse is an epidemic that's spreading around the country. Domestic violence is never the victim's fault, and abusers need harsher punishments.

I had a close friend that was a victim of serious domestic violence. She got assaulted every day just because her kid's father decided he was bored. I have witnessed him shoving her out of his way without thinking twice about it. When she was seven months pregnant, he purposely tripped her in front all his friends thinking it would be funny. He didn't abuse alcohol or other street drugs. He just found amusement in seeing the mother of his children in pain. The beatings got so severe her face was usually contorted sending her to the hospital with more stitches than a pillow, and something was always being replaced by surgery. I remember visiting her in the hospital with a crushed cheekbone and on the borderline for premature labor. I prayed that would be the day that she would speak up and get help.

She would always lie about how she got the black eyes and broken bones. Police would have no choice but to drop the charges because she would not reveal the truth. Her parents and friends knew how it really happened. Police and case workers would leave her with a card and a number to Eves House. I would go with her to court meetings where although there was severe proof of domestic violence taking place, it would just be said that he would be released with a no contact order and had to attend meetings. The meetings never helped and he was the reason she felt that she couldn't live freely. He would demand that she tell lies and threaten her with "if you tell" threats. To correct the so called problem, he was assigned "Alternative to violence" meetings. They never worked, so he continued to beat her and send her to the hospital over and over again. After a couple more hospital visits her family and friends convinced her to get help before it's too late. She went and set up an appointment with the domestic abuse team and told them what was happening to her. She told the advocates that she needed help re-capturing her life. After going through all the steps and being promised help at the end, it took them almost four months to arrest him, even then he only served 45 days.

If the punishment for domestic abuse was more severe, abusers would think twice about committing abuse. As for my friends boyfriend he continued to commit abuse because he knew if he didn't do too much he would get out of it with a slap on the wrist. After getting released from jail he still made her feel

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